BIG NEWS Part 3: The Plan

So this is actually the second post I am writing on this subject. The first was when the realization of what was going to happen (that I was going to propose to RB) hit me. This series is ordered in a way I thought we be most interesting to read so I am leaving room for the “What happened” part of the story. But I thought I would record some of my activities for the past few months as back information. I tend to like to plan and organize as much as possible. So this defiantly hasn’t been a spur of the moment development! In fact it was more of a gradual easing into the pool kind of a deal. Where I started out by gathering information; then I subtly put the pieces into place. I really did have a plan when I stated but ended up with one in the end.

Even before I was sure I wanted to pop the question so to speak I decided to do a little fact finding. Actually when MQ proposed to his Fiancée this whole ball kinda started to roll. First I was interested in the process of purchasing the ring. Not because I had any plans at the time, more because it was a foreign idea to me. So I was compelled to investigate. I started with probing the ole GF for some info on what she wanted, also with priming her on what I would do. I personally believe diamonds are over-rated and cause many problems for developing counties and the people that live there. I have believed this since my last year of college and the movie “Blood Diamonds” did not have anything to do with it. Anyway, luckily for me RB has no interest in Diamonds. In Russia they are not given for an engagement ring or for the wedding ring. In fact most people have simple gold bands and nothing more. Of course that would be to easy. What she wanted was a square cut platinum band with both of our birth stones in it. One sapphire flanked on either side by an amethyst.

Great… I thought she wants something no one makes… I may not be paying for a diamond but I will have to pay for the custom work. At least this is what I found after a few hours of research on the web. Well ok I have to find a custom jeweler. I could ask RB’s former employer who she uses for her custom pieces; the problem with this is she would most like tell RB I asked. So that is out and on to a new search on the web. Well it isn’t hard to find a place to purchase custom work; in fact you can walk into almost any place and ask them to create a custom piece. They will either sub it out of have someone in-house do it. I eventually found a great jeweler hidden in skyway level office in downtown Minneapolis. A place you would not find unless you were seeking it out or someone sent you there. The name of the place is Jeffery Jeweler’s. I wasn’t sure about it and checked out a couple others but then one afternoon in August. Yes all the way back in August. I decided to go check it out. Remember I wasn’t decided at this point I was just wondering about the process, timeline, and cost of such an item.

At Jeffery’s I met Tom. Tom is a great guy. His bio says he has traveled and he is certainly more interested in creating something unique than in getting the sale or adding services. I didn’t really know how this worked so Tom was very patient as I asked 112 questions about the process. Everything from design, to billing, to the length of time it would take. After awhile we finally got to design. I explained to him what I wanted. It was slightly different than what RB had come up with but it was close. I left and a few days later he called with two estimates using white gold and platinum. Quite honestly I was shocked. The price for the white gold piece was exactly where I expected it. The price for the Platinum piece was 2k more than I expected. The reason is that platinum is a lot harder than gold and take a lot more effort to work with (not to mention it is more for the raw materials. Well I didn’t have to make any decisions yet so I asked him to get some stones in for me to look at.

This had all been a new experience already and now I was thinking it would be more than I thought. RB was kinda set on Platinum and it wasn’t ridiculously priced. In fact I checked out a couple of other jewelers and they said it should cost more. Well by the time I met with Tom again it was mid September. I would go in the days I went to the office after work. We looked at some stones and then started to talk some more. At this point my design started to strike me as a little to large. We had designed a ring about 5 mm wide with decent size stones. It was pretty think because I had wanted it domed even though this was more than needed. But I started to think it was going to turn out to be to clunky. RB only wears a 7.5 or ring size (I borrowed without her knowledge a ring she had told me before fit well and brought it in to be sized) and I didn’t think it would look right. So we started taking and I said well what if we bring down a size. Before long Tom came up with a great idea. We could use a standard 4-4.5mm ring and mount the same jewels.

This idea was stellar for several reasons. First it brought the ring back to a more acceptable size. Second it was closer to what I think RB wants. Third it was easier for them to make. And Forth it would cut the price down, though he couldn’t tell me how much without working up another bid. Turns out the new design would be significantly cheaper and less then my original estimates for a platinum ring. I told Tom to go ahead with it in early October. By this time I was pretty sure I was going to pop the question. The ring was finished several weeks later. I paid cash for it in several installments (I actually had to come up with a third of the money to even begin) and picked it up in mid-December. It has been hidden in my house every since.

In late October (I guess this could have been the ‘I’m going to do it time’ but I still hadn’t committed to the idea) I also decided I wanted to do something nice for the proposal. Again I started pumping the GF for info. Here the information provided to me was much sparser then what kind of ring she would like. I wanted it to be a surprise, and I wanted it to not feel like it was pushed because of her having to leave the country for a while. So first I thought about the best “when” to get myself started. I thought how about Valentines. Nah that’s a little to cheesy for me. But February seemed like a good time several months away but long before she has to leave. I decided against my B-day weekend, even though then we could have both gotten presents and settled on the weekend of Feb 22 – 25. Now I had to figure out where. Well I thought it would be nice to do it out of town. Maybe somewhere warm. So I started to float the idea of a mid winter trip to Miami. Neither I nor she has ever been so it seemed to work fine. Some of the other ideas I had were a trip to DC, over Christmas, a trip to Maryland where some of her friends are, or possibly going out west. Miami seemed like the best idea so I ran with it.

So now I am down to the how. At this time I have 3 or 4 different Ideas on how to do it. I’m just not sure which to use. If read this blog in order you already know what I did, but right now… Well.. What ever. So one plan is to do it right away Friday morning, the only this is the place we are going is probably going to be cheesy. The next plan is to do it on a picnic in Everglades National Park. Should be a perfect day to be outside and the park is supposed to be spectacular. So that is a good one. The third Idea is to do it Saturday night. I thought a walk on the beach after dinner could be pretty cool. But it may rain that night, in which case I could just ask in the hotel on the balcony. The final plan, and I think back up, would be to do it Sunday when we tour an old historical hotel. I’ve tried to gauge what she would like with limited success so I will just have to pick something. Now, besides where I am more up the creek on what to say beyond six standard words or the two necessary phrases. I will probably be mulling that over for the next two days or so. It is a bit nerve racking, though exciting. If all goes well I will be writing an update to fill in the how very shortly!

Another side note about this whole plan is that I tried my best to keep all of this from her. This of course means that I have kept the secret from everyone else, but when engaged in clandestine activities the less people that know the better. I of course always act like I’m not even thinking about getting married when talking with RB – this of course drives her crazy – and of course I have told her many times to not bother me about it and said if I was going to do anything it would be during the summer. I also have mentioned several times that I had no clue how to get the ring, that it takes months to accomplish (this is true, I have already purchased it and know it takes time), and I will have to find a way to pay for it. I threw other red herrings out there but I don’t know if they ever really came to anything. One thing I tried was asking her former boss for the number of a custom jeweler a couple of weeks ago and asking if they could get me something by April. I hope she will be a bit of a gossip and let it slip. I timed it so it would look like I was gearing up to ask in April or May. RB further might buy this timeline because that is when her family is planning to visit. If all goes well this will be a complete surprise. I guess all of the pieces are in place we will have to see how it all works out….