Well I suppose after writing about the new in-laws and the wedding for the last month or so I will mix things up a bit and talk about work again. I is that time of year again were I have to fill out self evals and the mucky-mucks of the region get together and decide how everyone did for the year. Now that I have gone through it once before I can honestly say that I have completely different expectations. Again this year I ended things with great reviews. In fact, and I am not just tooting my own horn, I actually had reviews that said I was a life-saver for the project. So at a normal firm I would be expecting to get a high mark for the year. But I know that probably won’t be the case.
For one thing I have not been able to participate in extra curricular activities as much. My project required too much time. Also I had one eval that was average. Finally I am from a smaller office and have limited exposure to people with power in the region. Most of these are in Chicago. On top of this I have a week advocate. It’s not that she doesn’t care; it’s that she doesn’t have any time. We never meet face to face, I almost never get any real counseling, and I have the suspicion she doesn’t do any real follow-up on my forms. I also know that most people fall into the same rating and that it takes quite a bit to get one of the two higher ratings. So alas while I had stellar reviews and was very happy to get them I am not very confident that in the long run this matters.
What will be interesting is to see what kind of lame excuses they give this year. I’m pretty sure they will play the office activities card, but we shall see. The firm is great at coming up with trivial things to put you in the average category. Not that it really matters, last year the difference in raises was .8% from my rating and the next rating and it should affect my chances for promotion. So as long as those two things stay on track they can keep giving me the same rating and giving me the same excuses. Though I think it might be prudent to ask for a new counselor. But I will have to wait another 3 weeks before I find out my rating and with in a couple weeks of that I should find out if I am promoted, and then in August I should get my compensation call. Hopefully it is huge but, we shall see. I have other things to worry about, like getting better roles and experience, if the rest of it doesn’t fall into place these things will let me go to a firm where they do – not that I have any plans to do so.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
Like Clockwork, Kinda
Well it’s done. It’s over. I’m hitched. A good thing I think. Honestly I don’t think we could have asked for a better set of circumstances. Everything went according to plan; at least as close to it as could be asked. We all started getting ready in the early afternoon then loaded up the cars and headed to the park to take photos. There really wasn’t much traffic for a Friday afternoon and while there were people at the park we didn’t really have much hassle getting into the Japanese gardens and Conservatory. The only real hassle was a group of kids taking photos before their prom. They took quite a bit of time at some of the settings we wanted to use. No big deal though we dropped our idea of going to a second site on the side of St. Paul so we had plenty of time. The drive to Summit Manner was just as easy as the drive to Como Park so we were about 20 min early.
So we took photos outside for a while and before long it was time to go inside. Everything was ready to go long before the scheduled ceremony with the exception of the sound system (this caused a couple minute delay no big deal). All the guest arrived in time for the ceremony and no one fell down the stairs. I really don’t remember everything that was going on I was focused on the justice of the peace and RB. After a picture perfect service we went out the side circled around the building and re-entered through the front of the house. Everyone mingled for a while then with Dave Summit’s manager’s prompting everyone got some food and sat down to eat. Again the food was good, there was plenty, the wine and beer were also good (though we had more beer than we needed after buying a few extra cases at the last minute – thanks Kara!) and there was plenty.
After everyone enjoyed a meal we had a few toasts. My brother’s was amazing. Very well thought out and form the comments I received later one of the highlights of the night. Then we cut the cake, an act that is very awkward really. In fact having everyone’s attention at the level it was is a very different feeling. After cake came the dancing. The DJ did a great job though we did have to prompt him to put in some normal dance music. I am just not a fan of doing the chicken dance or the Makaraina, though the YMCA was funny and the air guitar (inflatable guitars for people to run around with) was a classic idea. Our first dance was good and of course the Father/Daughter, and Mother/Son dances were nice. But the real fun started once we opened the dance floor and got some funk playing. Many of my favorite pics are from people dancing like crazy people! In fact we ran a little bit over on time because we couldn’t get people off the floor!
Once Summit Manor closed up shop the night was far from over. RB or rather RG now wanted to invite everyone over to our place to finish off the beer from the wedding and have some of AP’s home brew. The party was on. We all shared cigars with SB, danced the night away, and partied like rock stars. The weather was perfect, the ceremony was perfect, the reception was great, and the after party was awesome. We had a 20 min service and a 9 hour party. We had a little hit when it came to only doing one site for photos and we started the ceremony 10 min late but I certainly am not going to dwell on such little things. I don’t know what I did right that the fates would grant us such a wonderful evening but it was amazing.
So we took photos outside for a while and before long it was time to go inside. Everything was ready to go long before the scheduled ceremony with the exception of the sound system (this caused a couple minute delay no big deal). All the guest arrived in time for the ceremony and no one fell down the stairs. I really don’t remember everything that was going on I was focused on the justice of the peace and RB. After a picture perfect service we went out the side circled around the building and re-entered through the front of the house. Everyone mingled for a while then with Dave Summit’s manager’s prompting everyone got some food and sat down to eat. Again the food was good, there was plenty, the wine and beer were also good (though we had more beer than we needed after buying a few extra cases at the last minute – thanks Kara!) and there was plenty.
After everyone enjoyed a meal we had a few toasts. My brother’s was amazing. Very well thought out and form the comments I received later one of the highlights of the night. Then we cut the cake, an act that is very awkward really. In fact having everyone’s attention at the level it was is a very different feeling. After cake came the dancing. The DJ did a great job though we did have to prompt him to put in some normal dance music. I am just not a fan of doing the chicken dance or the Makaraina, though the YMCA was funny and the air guitar (inflatable guitars for people to run around with) was a classic idea. Our first dance was good and of course the Father/Daughter, and Mother/Son dances were nice. But the real fun started once we opened the dance floor and got some funk playing. Many of my favorite pics are from people dancing like crazy people! In fact we ran a little bit over on time because we couldn’t get people off the floor!
Once Summit Manor closed up shop the night was far from over. RB or rather RG now wanted to invite everyone over to our place to finish off the beer from the wedding and have some of AP’s home brew. The party was on. We all shared cigars with SB, danced the night away, and partied like rock stars. The weather was perfect, the ceremony was perfect, the reception was great, and the after party was awesome. We had a 20 min service and a 9 hour party. We had a little hit when it came to only doing one site for photos and we started the ceremony 10 min late but I certainly am not going to dwell on such little things. I don’t know what I did right that the fates would grant us such a wonderful evening but it was amazing.
Friday, May 11, 2007
The Cost of Weddings
A major subject of conversation for me since mid February is the cost of throwing a wedding. Having been to a couple of dozen weddings and having been involved in a couple of others I have seen a wide variety of ceremonies, receptions, and locations. Before proposing I actually did a fair amount of research on the web as well. It’s funny but there really is no consensus on how much weddings do, should, or average in respect to costs. One thing that is obvious with just a little bit of reading is that the cost is going up, the industry is booming, and people in general don’t seem to change their behaviors. I was concerned and needed to plan because I knew we would have an accelerated time table and limited resources before I even proposed. As it turns out I think this was a benefit rather than a hindrance on the process.
The average cost of a wedding is reported between $10,000 and $30,000. However you can pretty much throw out the $10,000 because all of the references I found in this price range were 10-15 years old. More contemporary reports put the number more in the $18,000 to $30,000 range. Why such a large range, well first off they don’t compare apples to apples. Some include all wedding related activities including the Rings while other just includes the ceremony, reception, and related services. They also differ a bit region to region. I would say the average is somewhere around $20,000 - $25,000. Easterners tend to pay the most while the Midwest is more conservative (at least from my reading).
Why is the cost so high? Several reasons, the main one being that everyone wants more but there aren’t many new venues coming up. Supply and demand really. If you want a good church and reception hall during peak season (and it is peak because it is when everyone wants to get hitched) you will have to book 6-12 months ahead and pay a premium. The next biggest reason is catering and liquor (the number 1 cost of a wedding BTW). Open bars and decent food costs money, and this leads to the third biggest reason I found size. The more people you want to invite the bigger the venue has to be and the more you will spend on food and spirits. Now contributing to all of this is the fact that each venue has pricing schemes designed to maximize there profits and how much you will need to pay. For instance the hall may be cheap but you may not be able to use outside caterers and they may have fees for every little task (IE: cutting the cake).
So when I was doing research I spent a lot of time reading how to through a nice and affordable wedding. The general rules are as follows:
1. Keep it Small – The fewer people the less you need to spend on food and sprits
2. Move Fast – The longer you take planning a wedding the more you talk yourself into extras that cost extra
3. Keep it Simple – Same location for Ceremony and Reception, maybe a public space or someone’s residence
4. Try not to Hire Professionals – DJs, Photographers, etc. Cost a lot of money.
The good news for us is that a couple of these were forced on us. Move fast, we have no time, keep it simple, RB would only want to us a church if it were Catholic and due to time and other constraints (me not being Catholic) this meant no church. The first one we made an attempt, our first list had only 60 people on it. Later though the site we found (my parents moved so we couldn’t use there back yard) had a minimum catering charge for 100 people. So we invited 140 in the hope that 100 will show. Also we tried to go as simple as possible on other things; we hired a college student as a photographer and a friend of RB’s for the DJ. We also found a family friend that could officiate.
Some of my other cost saving were shot down though. I had also looked into renting an old theater out and catering with Buca Di Beppo. RB didn’t like this idea much. I also looked into community centers and parks but most had rules against adult beverages, were to small, or were outside (we couldn’t guarantee the weather of course). So these went by the way side. All – in – all though I think we did a great job finding reasonable solutions. Our costs look to be turning out to be 1/3 of the average wedding and I think we will only run 10-12% above my target budget. I can see though how easily it for people to go into debt to pay for there wedding!
The average cost of a wedding is reported between $10,000 and $30,000. However you can pretty much throw out the $10,000 because all of the references I found in this price range were 10-15 years old. More contemporary reports put the number more in the $18,000 to $30,000 range. Why such a large range, well first off they don’t compare apples to apples. Some include all wedding related activities including the Rings while other just includes the ceremony, reception, and related services. They also differ a bit region to region. I would say the average is somewhere around $20,000 - $25,000. Easterners tend to pay the most while the Midwest is more conservative (at least from my reading).
Why is the cost so high? Several reasons, the main one being that everyone wants more but there aren’t many new venues coming up. Supply and demand really. If you want a good church and reception hall during peak season (and it is peak because it is when everyone wants to get hitched) you will have to book 6-12 months ahead and pay a premium. The next biggest reason is catering and liquor (the number 1 cost of a wedding BTW). Open bars and decent food costs money, and this leads to the third biggest reason I found size. The more people you want to invite the bigger the venue has to be and the more you will spend on food and spirits. Now contributing to all of this is the fact that each venue has pricing schemes designed to maximize there profits and how much you will need to pay. For instance the hall may be cheap but you may not be able to use outside caterers and they may have fees for every little task (IE: cutting the cake).
So when I was doing research I spent a lot of time reading how to through a nice and affordable wedding. The general rules are as follows:
1. Keep it Small – The fewer people the less you need to spend on food and sprits
2. Move Fast – The longer you take planning a wedding the more you talk yourself into extras that cost extra
3. Keep it Simple – Same location for Ceremony and Reception, maybe a public space or someone’s residence
4. Try not to Hire Professionals – DJs, Photographers, etc. Cost a lot of money.
The good news for us is that a couple of these were forced on us. Move fast, we have no time, keep it simple, RB would only want to us a church if it were Catholic and due to time and other constraints (me not being Catholic) this meant no church. The first one we made an attempt, our first list had only 60 people on it. Later though the site we found (my parents moved so we couldn’t use there back yard) had a minimum catering charge for 100 people. So we invited 140 in the hope that 100 will show. Also we tried to go as simple as possible on other things; we hired a college student as a photographer and a friend of RB’s for the DJ. We also found a family friend that could officiate.
Some of my other cost saving were shot down though. I had also looked into renting an old theater out and catering with Buca Di Beppo. RB didn’t like this idea much. I also looked into community centers and parks but most had rules against adult beverages, were to small, or were outside (we couldn’t guarantee the weather of course). So these went by the way side. All – in – all though I think we did a great job finding reasonable solutions. Our costs look to be turning out to be 1/3 of the average wedding and I think we will only run 10-12% above my target budget. I can see though how easily it for people to go into debt to pay for there wedding!
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Cigars and Vodka
Hopefully I have been making a good impression on RB’s folks. I only get a couple of days a week to be home so I have been trying to be as accommodating as possible. Not that it is all work. Much of the time I spend with them is quite entertaining. We took them to a Jazz club in St. Paul, that was a lot of fun and generally do low key things around town. Visit people have people over. As part of my ambassador program I have also taken to drinking and smoking with my soon-to-be father in law SB. Not smoking cigarettes all weekend or anything like that. But I did share a nice smoke with him on the porch the other night.
We actually talked in a manner about our families. He had met my brother and explained a lot of things about his family using hand gestures and names. It is really quite amazing how well people that don’t know each other’s language can communicate with a few common words/titles for things. These hand gestures indicated birth order, approximate ages, heights, and relations between people. It wasn’t perfect, talking about adoptions is a little hard as are more complex issues. I also found out later that he was testing me a little bit. I think I passed. Though, it is funny because he told Ruzana that I was some what aristocratic. I think this may just be because my mannerisms, ways of dealing with things, interests in politics, and education. I’m not entirely sure it didn’t sound like a bad thing.
What is also fun to a point is the Russian, or at least SB’s tradition of drinking at dinner. He likes to take shots of vodka and toast. I have been told that this is a common practice and that many people over there do it. It isn’t that common here and I am not used to taking several shots of hard (and Russian vodka is strong) liquor in a single sitting. Back in my younger years this would not have seem that hard but now it takes a bit of getting used to. Though it does make for interesting evenings and SB’s toasts are great. It is pretty common for us on a Saturday night to toast 4 or 5 times. So lately on the weekends about half hour or so after dinners I have felt a little tipsy! The vodka it self takes a little getting used to it has a bit of an after bite, and I don’t think it was meant for sipping!
We actually talked in a manner about our families. He had met my brother and explained a lot of things about his family using hand gestures and names. It is really quite amazing how well people that don’t know each other’s language can communicate with a few common words/titles for things. These hand gestures indicated birth order, approximate ages, heights, and relations between people. It wasn’t perfect, talking about adoptions is a little hard as are more complex issues. I also found out later that he was testing me a little bit. I think I passed. Though, it is funny because he told Ruzana that I was some what aristocratic. I think this may just be because my mannerisms, ways of dealing with things, interests in politics, and education. I’m not entirely sure it didn’t sound like a bad thing.
What is also fun to a point is the Russian, or at least SB’s tradition of drinking at dinner. He likes to take shots of vodka and toast. I have been told that this is a common practice and that many people over there do it. It isn’t that common here and I am not used to taking several shots of hard (and Russian vodka is strong) liquor in a single sitting. Back in my younger years this would not have seem that hard but now it takes a bit of getting used to. Though it does make for interesting evenings and SB’s toasts are great. It is pretty common for us on a Saturday night to toast 4 or 5 times. So lately on the weekends about half hour or so after dinners I have felt a little tipsy! The vodka it self takes a little getting used to it has a bit of an after bite, and I don’t think it was meant for sipping!
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