You call this a Holiday Week

Seriously, for most people the holidays may be a stressful time. But for those people it is usually because they have stressful things going on in their lives or crazy family situations. They’re single and have overbearing parents, or are trying to please everyone but don’t have the resources to so. For these people though, there is normally some reprieve. Normally work is slack during the holidays, short weeks, extra time off, no dead lines, and not a lot going on. Well not for me, or any one else on my project. No we had the opposite situation.

My current client is one of those employers that actually shuts down operations for two whole weeks over Christmas and through the new year holiday. They’re whole pitch for there employees is how great of a place it is to work. Their motto (being a motorcycle company) is live to ride. Most people normally work 40 or less hours and get a lot of holiday time. They have good benefits and decent (though not great) wage. The main reason they stay on with the company is for it’s dedication to life style. That is unless you are signed on to the project run by the consultants. Though in our defense we didn’t pick the go-live date or create the schedule.

No on our project the two weeks of shut down were easily the busiest of the entire project. Most people were working 12+ days. Some people easily put in 60, 70, or even more hours. As the new system is going live Jan 2 there is no choice. The client employees got it pretty bad, but when they get poured on the consultants always get their share plus the over flow. Several nights I worked to 1am, 2am, or 3am. Every week I put in 6½ days a week. We did have short weeks though. We received Christmas Day off and New Year’s Day off. Unfortunately we still put in those 60, 70, or more hours! Just with only one less day in the week. So again I say “So you call this a Holiday Week?”

Now I really don’t feel sorry for myself. Nor do I really mind. I knew what I was signing up for when I signed on for the job. No the people I feel for are the client. Unlike most projects the majority of the project team was assigned to the project they didn’t volunteer. Second most of them are on salary so they aren’t even seeing any overtime out of the deal. Third they are loosing their 2 weeks of holiday and they aren’t getting any make up time. Finally they are putting in long weeks, have stress on their family lives, and the company has no plans to recognize their efforts. No extra pay, no awards, nothing but a small mention on the employee web page. What a joke; so much for “Living to ride!”

Farm Girl

So Christmas year was very nice, to say the least. We had it at my grandmother’s farm down in out state Virginia, nestled in the Blue Mountains. I met up with RB in Minneapolis and then flew into DC, got a car and drove the 3.5 hours down. The weather was nice all weekend except for the car drives to and from the farm. During those times it rained like nobody’s business. The rest of the weekend was warm enough for shirt sleeves. So that was nice. I was glad that both my little bro and sister could make out there. There had been a bit of an on going discussion over whether she was coming or not. I guess it’s just hard to be eighteen and not be a little goofy. But she did come; my mother, brother, and sister drove from Minnesota the 2 days down to the farm.

It wasn’t the first time RB had met my grandmother. They had met at thanks giving at my folks. I had already heard that grandma liked her but it was still nice that they got along over the holiday. We didn’t have a lot of time. We flew out Friday night, got in 1:30am, Christmas was of course Monday, and we actually drove up to DC Monday night so we could catch early flights Tuesday morning. Saturday was nice and relaxed everyone hung out and caught up with each other and we to town and made our final gift purchases. For the second year in a row I spent half the day in the McDonalds on the side of the highway using there wireless network to keep on top of my work. I did enjoy driving RB around Bedford and the country, not there are a lot of sites out there it is just a nice place to be. Later that night my dad flew in and everyone watched movies and chatted the night away.

The next morning we woke up and had breakfast. I skipped out of going into town to use the wireless for another day of work. Mid-morning I talked the GF into taking a hike around the farm. Now she is a pretty laid back girl for the most part and she didn’t mind walking around the farm, but I think it certainly was a new experience for her. Having mostly been in cities or the suburbs and state parks for camping this was definitely a new environment for her. As many people know farms are full of things you don’t run into in the cities or the burbs. Animals tend to leave their bi-products all over, there is strange equipment every were, the land is not graded at all and is used for grazing animals, or for growing crops. Though on this farm the only thing being raised anymore are cows; No more chickens, no more corn, no more tobacco, just cows.

However she was surprising; which is very often the case. With very little resistance and some enthusiasm we toured the majority of the main 100 acres or so. First I had to let her know a few things. Such as not to touch the fence (it’s electric and did get me once while we were out, how to climb over old cow gates, how to hope creaks, and the most import to watch out for cow pies (and what cow pies are!). Farms can be fun but they are defiantly not clean and easy places to get around. With in only half an hour she was jumping over the muddy banks of the creeks and moving along old cow trails and sometimes crawling under (though not without protest) the barbed wire fence. If fact she was pretty enthusiastic about it, when were resting on some rocks that sit on one of the hills in the front field we saw my parents car go by she started jumping up and down waving at them.

The rest of the weekend was nice; Opened presents, two holiday dinners, lots of videos, and good times with my grandma. She was thrilled to have everyone down at her house and I think we were all just as thrilled to be there. We drove back to DC Christmas day and stayed the night at a Holiday Inn. Then first thing in the morning RB caught a flight to Minnesota, and I flew back to Milwaukee to see the client. No rest for the weary this holiday!

Go-Karting for work!

To be completely honest one of the things I love best about my job isn’t the work at all. It’s the things we do to try to build a community from folks that, at best, see each other two or three times a month. There are charity drives, Friday fly backs, clubs and groups, planning comities and happy hours, quite a few firm sponsored events, and then events that we organize for networking on our own and are paid for by a partner. This is all that extra stuff, that while it does eat up a lot of time, make being a consult such a unique experience (ok maybe that sounds like I’ve been drinking the kool-aid but I have not). One of these events that we had recently was really fun. A bunch of grown people, with very professional jobs, got together and decided to go go-karting. I actually shocked at the turn out for the event.

I have to admit that I was the provocateur in this adventure. When I joined the firm a year and a half ago I was assigned to a group that manages and configures SAP a large ERP software. I went to training and have been on two SAP projects now. The practice in Minneapolis though is very small. There are only 10 SAP practitioners local and when I joined there were only 6, most consultants in the region are out of Chicago. This presents a problem as it is hard to find good opportunities for projects as there is not a lot of activity being driven in the local office. Because of this I and a consultant in the office have wanted to organize a local group and eventually get it connected with similar groups in other offices to raise our visibility. The first step for this is to get everyone in the office to know each other and network.

The first time we tried to get everyone together we tried the basic happy hour invite. Unfortunately the only people the showed up were myself, another organizer, and the two more senior people that had agreed to sponsor. So we needed something more exciting. At first we hoped for a basketball, football, or hocky game. We did get the use of the box for a Timber Wolves game but not for several months. So we needed other ideas. We thought possibly an indoor golfing event; but the simulator and driving range indoor domes really aren’t set up for large groups. We thought about a wine tasting; but there was already one on the calendar for another group. So I figured I had always like go-karting why not see if anyone else was interested.

Well they were. In fact we had the highest turnout of any event to date. I think that most consultants are adrialine junkies. I know other groups in the past have done similar events and things like paint ball or rock climbing. So now we know how to get peoples attention. Consultants get free dinner and drinks on a regular basis; you have to be more creative to get them to give up some of their personal time.

Now, we didn’t plan on going to a normal go-karting track. Instead we planned to go to a more grown up version. There is a company in the Twin Cities call ProKart. They own two tracks indoor facilities that boast high performance European built cars. We went to the track in the southern part of the metro and rented the entire track out for an hour of racing. Plus we had some sandwiches catered and a side room for getting together. The cars that this track uses are said to get up to speeds in excess of 4 miles an hour. They do not cages or role bars. Instead they are built very close to the ground and count on a long/wide wheel base and very low center of gravity to keep them from flying off the track. There are no seatbelts either. Here the cars count again on physics using a tight bucket seat and proximity to the steering to keep riders in the car. The track has 6 or so tight turns, steel railings, skid marks across and down the width and length of the entire track, and one long strait away at the end. To say the least the 3 heats and 2 warm ups we had were quite a rush.

What was also very interesting about this outing was just how aggressive everyone was. The first 4 people were in a dead heat most of the time. One drive had an advantage as he weighed 50lb less than everyone else. When he hit the strait away his car just walked away. It didn’t matter how you drove if you were behind him. The trick was to keep him from passing as long as possible. I am proud that in 3 races I came in 2^nd, 1^st, and then 3^rd. There were two funny scenes in all of this crazy racing. The 1^st is the fact that every one took liberties bumping into each other, and for some reason the only partner of the group got knocked around more I think than most. The second was two of the drivers that just could not keep up. One was really trying to drive as fast as possible and was just a slow driver; the other was having fun just going at their own pace and not caring. It was amusing because they would be past as many as 4 times during a race.

The racing was so intense that I was hit from behind on a tight corner. I was doing 20+ mph and the guy that hit me was probably going close to 30. The car hit the side wall so hard that we bent the frame and the car could not long turn anymore! I also cut my knuckle on a piece of plastic flaring but kept racing anyway. It didn’t hurt, I did get a bit of hear full for bleeding over my jeans that night, but that’s ok. All in all it was a great outing and accomplished its purpose. We had great participation, people got to know each other better and they are all looking forward to the next event.

Does anyone not Holiday Shop online anymore?

So while holiday shopping this year I go to thinking. Does anyone not shop online anymore? I see new studies every year talking about how much online shopping has grown and the growth expected in the next year(s). But what I don’t see are any studies saying how many people do and don’t shop online, and who these people may be. You would think that is would be a cut and dry issue, but then again I’m not so sure. Everyone I know always assumed Mac users were young hit up and comers. In fact the commercial comparing a with-it youngster with an out of touch business guy to push Macs is actually quite wrong. While recently a marketing survey actually found that most people that purchase Macs were seniors – with exception of iPods of course.

The study I mentioned above also reputed the supposed fact that seniors were not technically savvy and did not go on line very often. In fact the majority of this generation is quite computer literate and uses many online services. The real problem is that there are not as many services geared to their age group. TechDirt, a Blog I read quite frequently has had a few articles restating this assertion that it isn’t that seniors can not do it, there is just not any content that interests them at this time. I’ll have to agree with them as my personal experience is mixed. One grandmother won’t touch the computer, while the other and her husband use email and the internet but are scared people are spying on them when they are connected. However when I was a Microsoft rep. at the local Circuit City, Best Buy, and CompUSA I encountered several older people that were as fluent as most of my friends in computers.

So if older people use the internet in similar and just as affluent ways as younger people – at least those in the study - what about online shoppers. Is it only the younger and middle-aged generations who venture onto the cyber shops? Is it still dominated by techno savvy geeks? Personally I gather the majority of my information online even if I don’t make the purchase there (though I do make a lot of online purchases). Thinking of the people I went to High School or College with I can’t think of anyone that hasn’t or doesn’t make routine purchases online. In fact I am forwarded a lot of links and ads for online. The first stop I make is online even if I don’t buy it there.

I can always find better prices online with only a few exceptions, and except for furniture, or large electronics I don’t need to go to the actual store to buy the item. It seems like a lot less hassle to have it delivered than pick it up. Beyond the actual purchasing I was also wondering about research, even if you don’t make the purchase online I can’t even begin to determine how difficult if would be to do research with out the internet. My first stop is generally to www.CNET.com or www.Nextag.com to read reviews and love to check out user comments at Amazon and similar stores. Even the information provided at Target, Circuit City, or Best Buy sites goes far beyond what is available on the tag at the store. So really why wouldn’t anyone not do a lot of there shopping – excluding furniture or clothing – online?

Dude wheres my flight?

8:10 Tried to check into my flight online and was told I must see a ticket agent to get checked into the flight.

8:15 Called NWA reservations to investigate the ticket. Was told I was a no show Monday for the flight from Detroit to Dayton. Curious as I am in Dayton right now and I flew a NWA Saab turbo prop in seat 1a that left Detroit – late I might add – from gate C16. But as I didn’t save my boarding pass the Reservation agent said there was nothing they could do… I wondered: why can’t you look in the system at the planes manifest? My name would be on it! But no! I have to contact my travel agent and maybe… Mind you MAYBE.. something can be done. She was polite, but that she seemed annoyed by the fact that I had even called in – with this problem – and insinuated that it was MY FAULT the gate agent hadn’t processed me correctly, really pissed me off. Oh yeah and she doesn’t care that I might now be stranded in Dayton, OH. D – A – Y – T – O - N O – H – I – O!!

8:36 I call my travel service through work. I try to be calm and explain the situation. Believe it or not they have heard of this before. Dave the rep. told me confidently that they had a SPECIAL contact at NWA and he was sure he could resolve the issue. He took all of my information and said he would call back…. We shall see.

8:45 Complained to everyone how crappy the service at NWA was!!

8:50 Complained to everyone how crappy the service at NWA was!!

8:59 Complained to everyone how crappy the service at NWA was!!
I had talked to 3 different groups about this slip up and the average response was ‘That’s why I don’t fly NWA’

9:15 Complained to everyone online how crappy the service at NWA was!!

9:25 Complained to everyone how crappy the service at NWA was!!

9:33 Complained to everyone how crappy the service at NWA was!!

9:50 Complained to everyone how crappy the service at NWA was!!

9:52 Complained to everyone how crappy the service at NWA was!!

10:13 Talked to James (the consultant I’m working with) he said I should call our travel rep again and press the issue. I said I would be patient and wait until 2 hours had past.

10:28 8 minutes before 2 hours is up Dave called back. He had fixed everything. He said NWA had messed up on Monday… Yeah I KNOW.

10:32 Checked into my flight for tonight… Still skeptical.

10:35 Looked into booking Continental or Delta for all of next year instead of NWA. Hope everything goes well tonight and they let me on the plane.

11:20 Wrote this Blog. Sorry Dad but your guys really gave me a time today! May have to fly Continental.

Martini’s and Burgers

Some of the most interesting places in Milwaukee that I have found over the past six months are the unique array of night spots they have. Of course everyone knows that Milwaukee has a lot of bar tours as there are major breweries in town. They also have really nice micro-breweries, there are a ton of neighborhood bars, they have great venues from a mix of diverse cultures (Caribbean, Mediterranean, Latino, etx), they have upscale clubs that rival much larger cities, but they also have a unique experience that I have yet only seen here. That is the Gourmet Burger Joint / Martini lounge. Yes there are Martini lounges in most cities, but they are not like the ones in Milwaukee. Those in Milwaukee not only have sheik and modern interior lounge settings and specialty drinks, they also make gourmet yet blue collar food. That’s right they specialize in sandwiches, fries, and burgers – but with a twist.

Most of the food is prepared in a great kitchen to recipes created specifically for that restaurant. While the food is classic and blue collar the preparation is no kidding 4 star in quality. Just as a chef in a French restaurant would spend a great of time on his signature dishes these restaurants have spent a great deal of time perfecting burgers. Some with exotic spices and peppers others with interesting combinations of cheeses and sauces. Just as with most restaurants I think the difference really is in the sauces and preparation of the food. Something these places take seriously.

Interestingly enough this combination produces a nice trendy place that I think most people feel welcome. The handful of times I have gone out to these places after a long day of work we went in just jeans and a button up, while this is normal it is just as normal to see people in sport coats, dresses, and done up to the nines. I think with the heritage of the town though it is hard for it to become a place where dress codes and a snooty atmosphere could be enforced. We are talking about the town that brought us Harley-Davidson Motorcycles, Miller and Pabst Beer, and Lavern and Shirley reruns. It’s nice to see everyone doing there own thing and enjoying a great place.

I did take RB when she came to visit town. We went to a place called Elsa’s. It’s actually a favorite of my current projects main partner. That night they had fresh art work (they rotate every couple of weeks) and some ice sculptures. We sat in the back room (a first for me) in low easy chairs with a small marble table in between. We both ordered a burger and some wine. I had a Blue Cheese burger Covered with peppercorns and sautéed in a burgundy sauce that is one of the best burgers I have ever had. Very Tasty. Of course the real magic of these places is that while you are eating your $10 burger you are also polishing off drinks you would normally purchase at an upscale bar at the tune of $10-$15 each. So of course the owner’s of these establishments know exactly what is what and how to deal with the blend of people in Milwaukee. If you are in town I you have to try Elsa’s.

I guess stupid isn’t always funny

I admit that I tend to like really dumb movies. My favorites include Spaceballs, Caddy Shack, Wedding Crashers, most Adam Sandler films, and most Will Ferrel films. But lately I think the new “funny” movies are getting worse. Less attention is being paid to movie production (as seems to be the case with the majority of films today) and it seems like these movies are put together as quick as possible. Though many films used to be a farce they still centered around a loose story line. Something was actually happening. The last few movies in this genre that I have seen though have lost something. Writing, possibly, production value, sure, are they to quick to reference crude humor, ok; but really this has been part of all stupid movies. So what is it that is making them so bad and quite frankly not funny?

My most recent example would be Accepted. This seemed like a possible winner, at least for those of us that like dumb movies. But it was awful. The plot seemed like a good idea. A kid that had been a scam artist in high school was turned down by all of the colleges he applied to, to get his parents off his back he and some friends created a fake college with a website and all. The rub is that they made the website functional and it sent a letter to anyone that filled out a form online. So all of a sudden there were thousand of kids at the door with tuition money. Rather than turn them away they invited them in and craziness ensues. There are nice looking girls, some preppy frat boys (apparently only frat guys and deans can be the enemy in a college movie) that cause trouble, and an odd legal battle. All the elements are there but it just didn’t come together. I don’t know why other then the fact that the conflict was underplayed, and the climax was incredibly lame.

But this isn’t the only movie to disappoint. Most funny movies at least have their own theme, even if they are a spoof. Spaceballs was obviously making fun of Star Wars and other sci-fi movies. But at least it had it’s own story. Lately the worst of these movies haven’t even done that. Take for instance Scary Movie (1,2,3…), Not another Teen Movie, and Date Movie. These don’t even try they just string 70 minutes worth of sketches together based on scenes from movies of the genre they are spoofing. The last one in the list actually spoofed another type of comedy. This just isn’t funny. It seems that most of these movies are just plain being lazy; trying to score a quick buck from high school and college kids. I hope it works for them. I wonder though if they are just spreading out less money over more films because so many studios produce them on a regular basis. The end result for me though is that I don’t go to see many movies like this any more (though part of that is because my GF won’t go to any of them).

Not all dumb comedies are that dumb either. You, Me, and Duprie was pretty good, obviously Old School, and Wedding Crashers were hits. This season Night at the Museum could be pretty funny. Interestingly enough these all seem to be made by the same group of people. Why is it, that all the rest are so bad? Maybe as you get older the jokes get tired. Maybe there just isn’t that much new to come up with. So anyway I guess I still would say ‘Bring on the stupid movie’ just up the quality. Yes I know that seems like an oxymoron. But like I said I guess Stupid just isn’t always funny.

Just a part of life

Everyone has been there and recently I too had to have a maddening talk with the mechanic at my local shop. The maddening thing about the conversation was the high cost of the repair, it wasn’t that my pick broke down in the first place, and it wasn’t that Ford had such a stupid design in the first place. No the reason it was so maddening is that the mechanic seemed to have an inability to break down the costs of the repair and give me an itemized set of prices. How hard is it anyway to create a work estimate? First item labor X hours at Y rates gives Z dollars. Next put in part A in X quantity times a cost of Y dollars gives you again Z dollars. Repeat until all the component costs of the bid are covered, add them together, and walla you have a total. After 40 minutes on the phone and asking several pointed questions I finally got this. Of course I really didn’t know because it was a range based on if this was needed or if that was needed but at least I had a framework to deal with.

So why was I dealing with this mastermind of mathematics? Very simple a factory defect in my 2002 Ford Ranger decided to show itself at only 54,000 miles and we were unable to engage the engine to the transmission. Now looking at the shop bill you would have thought that maybe the transmission had gone out, or that there was a major failure. In reality it was only a $150 dollar part and a simple repair. Yet the bill was much larger than you would have guessed it would be. The reason is that Ford had the brilliant idea of taking a tried and true – as well as very reliable – way of doing something and made it complicated for no apparent reason. Most hydraulic manual transmissions are activated with a similar set up as that used in power brakes. A master cylinder forces fluid through a line the pushes a slave cylinder activating the desired mechanism. On almost all hydraulic manual transmissions the slave cylinder is located external of the transmission and a mechanical lever or fork is used to actually engage the clutch. Ford new and better design was to build this inside the bell housing.

The problem with doing this is that instead of the cylinder being a bolt on part it now requires major work just to gain access to it. Instead of pulling it off and replacing it in ½ hour the mechanic needs 2 1/2 hours just to pull the transmission out of the truck and another 2 1/2 to put it back. Plus another hour of related, and what should be unnecessary work. This extra labor is only half of the cost created by this design. The other half stems from the proximity of other parts to the failed cylinder, which by the way fails by blowing out a seal and leaking hydraulic fluid everywhere. Because the clutch is so close to the cylinder, when the cylinder leaks the fluid ends up on the clutch causing the clutch to fail. Apparently the material that clutches are made out of is quickly destroyed by hydraulic fluid. Therefore instead of a $150 part on it’s own, you must also replace the clutch and resurface the flywheel adding another $400 dollars to the job! So all in all the total cost is easily 5 times the amount to repair the same failure in these Fords than in most other vehicles with manual transmissions.

But I really can’t get that upset about it. While I did get rid of the extended warranty to save money, as long as there is no other major repair in the next 2 ½ years or 46k miles the repair was only 2/5 the cost of the warranty. On top of that the failure was caused by poor design (prompting me to buy an after market replacement part) not from anything I or my GF did. In fact nothing we could have done could have prevented. So as far as I’m concerned since the problem was not caused by either of our driving habits, or from anything we did, and we could not have prevented it I consider the matter simply and act of nature or god. So therefore it’s just a part of life. Make the repair pay the bill and move on. I will think twice from now on about buying a ford, but in all honesty had I know about this flaw I still would have purchased the truck. Automotive repairs are just part of life!

Living the Dream

It was interesting to hear one of my good friends speaking about ‘Living the dream’ one Friday night. He often asks the question, as greeting of sorts, ‘you liv’n the dream?’ or answers greetings with a similar saying “I’m liv’n the dream”. What I found interesting about the way he talks is that when he speaks about “Liv’n the dream” this particular occasion, he spoke in a sarcastic manner, not really in his usual cheerful manner. I wonder now if he no longer really believes, or if he and the others within my circle of friends ever did. I also thought over the next week about this phrase and what it means and if I believe it.

‘Living the dream’ to my friends mean essentially that. That you have obtained a life style or position in your life that you would dream to be in. I think that many of people’s view of this dream consists of having everything; a big house, great job/occupation, good people in you life, a ton of money, all the toys, endless leisure time and probably no really worries or problems. In fact after the conversation that night I started to think. What does it take to ‘live the dream’? Everything you ever wanted? A large fortune? A fancy car? A huge house? What? What is the dream?

The more I thought about the way my friends talk about “liv’n the dream”, the more I think they see the dream as being or becoming unattainable or very far off at best. I know many of them are not even half of the way to completing many of the goals they have set for themselves in regards of wealth; set years ago with out any real thought. I also know that this particular friend is not really happy or even content with his current job, and certainly does not have the leisure time he would like. But he has so many other things going for himself. He recently got engaged to a great woman, has a wonderful and supportive family, owns his own house, and is not really bound by any real financial constraints. He may not be able to buy an exotic car, go clubbing every night (though a couple a nights a week isn’t out of the question), or spend money like it is going out of style - but he really doesn’t have a lot to worry about either.

This is the case with the entire handful of other people that routinely use the phrase. They all have grim outlooks in the fact that they really don’t think they will ever truly live the dream. I truly think the only thing keeping their outlooks down is their instance on a particular way of dreaming, an insistence on the material, or a structured view influenced by the proverbial Jones. I say this not to be judgmental but because of my recent thoughts on my own situation as I begin to examine my own dreams. I wonder how far off am I from ‘living the dream.’ What do I need to be there?

Thinking back only five years, I remember another conversation. At that time I worked at a telecommunications company, had just purchased my house, and my pay was quite good for just finishing a one year technical program. I remember talking to one of my co-workers saying, well I have the job and house all I really need now is a good girl, a dog, and a truck. The more I ponder the question about ‘living the dream’ the more I come back to that statement. The one item I am missing from that list isn’t money, a bigger house, a fancier car, or anything really material. From that list I only lack the dog. So to obtain my dream I guess I need to just stop by the pet store one weekend.

Unfortunately, I have grown since then. I realized there were some things I was missing, at least at that time, that I didn’t realize I needed. They still aren’t the bigger house, the fancy car, the clubs, or any of that. No, the only things I really lacked at that time were professional challenges, and a sense of accomplishment. As the job was not easy, but it was not all that challenging either I was in a rut and didn’t even know. A couple years latter I was transferred to Iowa, and when I decided to try something new hit some major road blocks because of the my level of education and the economy at the time. I realized then that I needed more and had to accomplish certain things to get there. That is exactly what I did. I earned my degree(trust me, this was no small feat after my previous performance) and when it came time to interview and choose a career path I found I was most interested in the one that scared me the most. The one with the most challenges.

So as far as “living the dream” is concerned, do I know what it is, and how far away am I from it? Well I think I do know what my version of the dream is. It consists of just a few things, a great woman to spend time with and that challenges me, good people in my life (family and friends), many challenges and opportunities (inside or outside of a particular career), a place of my own to take care of and live in, and a pick up truck. The dog has become optional. So am I living the dream? In contrast to many of my friends, I have to say “Yes”, at least the only dream that really matters to me. All the other stuff is really just peripheral. So here’s hoping it just gets better!

Lessons Learned…. Effort based planning is BS

There are many different ways to schedule and plan work. Some are task based, priority based, time based, or - what most PMO organizations prefer – effort based. Effort based planning is based on using the amount of effort or time each task takes to create a bottoms up approach to planning. Anyone who has used MS Project is familiar with effort based planning. Essentially you take a list of tasks to complete work, assign them an order (1 before 3, 2 before 9, 4 before 1, etc) and the amount of time it takes to complete them, and whammy you have your schedule based on the start date you enter. This sounds like a good approach. The problems arise however in the details. After more than a year in consulting, planning is good, but the Devil Really is in the Details.

The biggest problem with effort based planning – at least with a development project – is that you actually never know all of the tasks or the effort it takes to complete them. A good example of this is that a developer may tell you a modification will take 35 hours and instead it only take 5, while other days they will tell you 5 and it will take 35 hours. So to make the plan you need to know how long tasks take but this is always going to be a best guess scenario. Second more tasks will present themselves as soon as you start working on a project. For instance the software vendor may tell you something is automated but then you find that it is only automated in certain cases. Now someone has the task to once or twice a week update or validate configuration tables. This throws a monkey into the wrench for sure.

The next biggest problem with this approach is granularity. How detailed do you want the plan. Personally I think giving people blocks of time is more effective than planning to the hour. Unfortunately this is harder to measure to if you are measuring the effort. In the case of testing there should be a certain number of test cases for a team to accomplish any day. If they miss some they are behind if they complete some extra they are ahead. But many clients want to know by the hour when things will get done. Well just like with programmers this is nearly impossible you will always be ahead or behind. Some tests will take minutes others days. So a lot of effort can be put into developing list of all tasks and dependency involved and planning each of these tasks based on effort down to the minute, but what does it mean. As soon as one thing takes longer than it should the plan is worthless. It just moves forward into the future.

The real issue with this is you spend all your time planning and no time executing. Even when you are behind you keep reworking the schedule. The final deadline isn’t moving so the only thing to do is make people work harder and longer. However if the PMO isn’t strong enough this never happens. In fact they just keep reworking the schedule and report on-time and on-budget. Eventually the back log will catch up though and the project will be in real trouble.

Now personally I think taking a harder line on smaller milestones and letting the various teams worry about the details is a better approach then planning to the detail and never push issues to closure. So if 20 tests must be run by the end of the week… well… no one goes home for the week until all 20 are run and passed. If the development is holding up completion of the process… well…no one goes home that night until it is done. No amount of planning is going to get the work done; only time spent doing the work will get the work done! I think this is why some many projects go over budget and take so long. The management is not willing to step up to the fact that things are behind, that the plans can only be rough guides, and that eventually to get done there has to be people working extra to get tasks done. Effort based planning, especially down to a daily workload, is really a bunch of BS. You have to plan based on when things have to be done and make people hit those deadlines regardless of what needs to be completed. If management isn’t will to do this projects will never make deadlines.

To go along with this management also needs to know they have to give the employees a reason to pull harder and get things accomplished. So beyond realistic planning, taking a hard line on deadlines, people must get something personally from the project work, but that is a topic for another time.

Bad News

Well after a year or so battle with the bureaucrats RB was told that she lost her battle and will not get a letter of no objection. This simply means that she is not eligible to stay in the country beyond her original work authorization. So as of the end of August she will be back Russia. Now to all those who would ask… Why not get married? Or can’t she this? Or can’t she that? The answer is simply.. It doesn’t matter what she does at this point she has to either go back to school or back to Russia. Since she can’t stay in school her whole life it is going to be back to Russia. The reason for this goes back to the original program she came to the states on. It was crafted after the fall of the Iron Curtain and was designed to help westernize the former Soviet style communist countries. So the intent was that young people would come over, learn the American ways, go home and teach or influence change to bring about or help along reforms to create similar systems.

Now does it matter that the program was designed more than a decade ago. No. The requirement remains. She has to spend 2 years back in Russia before she is eligible to come back to the states regardless of her martial or any other situation. So while it is a ways off it looks like I/we will have to start planning what we will do for the 16 months she still needs in Russia to fulfill her requirement. The good news is that with my current occupation I have several different options available. It is also fortunate that the time she has to spend overseas does not have to be concurrent; therefore the time she has already gone back counts towards the requirement. However that doesn’t mean there won’t be challenges in getting her back, and we have to hope that her current employer will want her back. A fact I have no doubt of though.

So what then are the options then? Well the first and best option is if I can get on an international project. This would allow me to visit at least monthly and still come home on a semi-regular basis. I would continue to gain experience and move up, and best of all continue to collect a pay check! I hope that with a certain amount of persuasion I can work with my councilor at work to make this a reality. A process in fact I have already started. Of course with this options I would have some details to work out with my house and paying bills. Most bills are now online, but other I would still need to get back to take care from time to time. But these are small issues I’m sure will be easily ironed out as the time comes up.

The second option, one that I am willing to do but that RB doesn’t particularly like, is for me to travel from time to time to visit her the first and last few months she is away and then to take a leave of absence and join her in Russia for the bulk of her stay. I actually already have leads on a job or two in Moscow and have talked to some friends in the firm about this process. So I think it is very doable and would be a great adventure. The problem is that six months off may put me a year behind in my career, and I of course would not be making any money on regular basis (unless I did pick a job while in Moscow). So for these negative career related reasons RB is against the idea. Of more concern this route is also what I do with my house. If I am gone for 6 months I would have to rent it out and I would need people to take care of it for me. Bills shouldn’t be an issue because I would most likely just cancel any service that I can’t take care of online.

The third option is to try to see RB on a regular basis for the 16 months she is gone. While I don’t like the idea of a long distance relationship it would be doable. I have already figured out I could spend 3 years of vacation and spend 6+ weeks over there, of course spaced out to make it worth while. I could also see her for long weekends about every month and a half. While this would cost more than the other two options with the alternate travel through my work, NWA world perks miles, and a bit of frugal airline ticket shopping it certainly isn’t out of the question. It would leave me with a normal career track, regular paycheck, and I wouldn’t have to worry about my house or bills. The problem is that I would be in a very, very long distance relationship. So if I can find a way to see RB more often I’m going to take it.

My firm always plays up that they are flexible and willing to work with people to get through any situation and I should be consultant by the time RB leaves. So we will see if they put the effort up to back up their big talk! I am really hoping I swing the first option. However I maybe become even harder for friends and family back home to get a hold of for quite sometime starting in August. We shall see.

To-Do Lists

For the last few months due to the crazy schedule that my current project is on I have less and less time to take care of personal stuff. As I think I have mentioned a few times in previous blogs. Not that I am complaining. I really enjoy being busy and having a lot to do. But I find it funny because my life is beginning to look like a series of To-Do lists. During the week I have a to-do list of client service activities, consulting activities, and a few personal activities. On the weekends I have to-do lists for social activities, things to do around the house, honey dos, and personal to-do lists. I have so many lists of things to do I actually started keeping online to-do lists on Google. The problem is that they never seem to move.

This is amusing because, as anyone who knows me, I like to plan. But lately my plans have just simply been to knock a couple things off the list at a time! So what do these wonderful lists look like? Well for a typical work day I will have to, run reports for the management team, administer the testing software we are using (make changes to accounts, problem solve, maintain the overall structure), build plans and schedules for the day/week/month/cycle of work, train people, create process documentation, attend meetings to make general project decisions, analyze a data for a number of reasons, change values in various tables, and so on.

The activities above are the client service activities, at the same time my firm requires I do a certain number of firm activities so I general have a parallel list to work from that includes things like: time and expense, arranging my travel, setting up my hotel, filling out evaluations (of myself, of others, of firm initiatives, of firm resources, etc), filling out administrative paper work for benefits, create materials for the knowledge management system, create materials for local groups, recruit, make presentations about the firm or firm activities, network (though this is normally more fun than a bother but it does take time), respond to requests for information, create materials for pursuit work (sales), taking online trainings, etc.

All of the items above are constantly being rehashed on a weekly basis and I have to manage the lists separate as Client service always comes first, but a lot of advancement hinges on firm activities so they can not be neglected. So after 50 hours of client service work I can generally expect 5 – 10 hours of firm administration.

On the weekends the do lists are normally better. Mostly consisting of people to try and visit with, things to do, and house work. I wonder though if this is how many other people manage their own lives, with a list of things that need to be taken care of. I don’t remember having lists until I bought a house, or if I did they weren’t very long. I also wonder if other people have a list of things they want to do in their lives as well. I always have in my mind a long list of places to see, things to do, and activities I want to try. I have never writen it down have heard of very famous people that have. I might have to start. I know I'll add that to my list of things to do... Hah

It does seems though that the older I get the more I have to do and the less time I have to do it! Though once this project winds down and I get another night at home and a day in the local office things should be easier to maintain. But doubt that my lists will disappear anytime soon!

I Hate eLearning

In today’s world many businesses have learned that continually providing education opportunities for their employee’s – especial firms that provide in knowledge based services – to grow brings many advantages to the company. For instance providing Harvard Management materials allow employees to go out and learn some of the most up to date techniques to improve their workgroup, department, or whatever organizational group they belong. Sending employee’s to industry seminars helps to bring new ideas into the firm. Having people take classes on a product, system, or industry related certifications helps to improve the productivity of employees. In fact most forms of education that are related to the business create returns to the business beyond the cost of providing the training.

There is at least one huge exception to this though. While not a wide spread problem these programs are not uncommon. I have run into them at two of my employers. The biggest waste of time, waste of education money, simply the big waste are eLearnings (the new version of CBT or computer based training) who’s sole purpose is to train employees on matters of policy. I’m talking about web or computer based programming that go over the latest rules based on C-Level knee jerk reactions to the latest corporate scandals covered by CNN. The point of these programs is not to help the employee do their job, it is not to help educate the employee about important policies that help the firm operate, it is not to help improve productivity, or keep employees up to date on the latest and greatest of industry methods. No the sole purpose of these huge waste of corporate resources is to limit the companies liability in case of a scandal. In essence the company wants to create a device so they can say “we told them so” and get out of responsibility.

My current employer is a very, very, very conservative firm. Always has been for more than a hundred years. So they actually plan to have at least one mandatory training a year that focuses on such issues. These are painful. I can not even explain it. Last year thanks to all the corporate criminal cases going through the courts we had a two part Ethics Training. Wow, it included discussion groups, business cases, and a series of simulations. It was incredibly long. You can’t skip chapters because there are exams at the end of each chapter so you have to do every activity. It lasted close to 3 hours per 1/2. This year because so many companies have lost their client’s personal data we got a training to explain a new – and overly complicated – data protect policy for client personal data. It included a new set of terms that were awkward to use and not really applicable to my job. Again it took about 3 hours and had the end of chapter exams.

Even skimming the material and running through the activities at a break-neck half hazard speed it took an entire night of my free time after working for the day. I have yet to determine what, if any, value the company has gained from me spending almost an entire day participating in the project. It was a complete waste of time really. I suppose next year I will get another one and it will be the bane of my working experience. Of course if that is the worst thing I have to contend with – it isn’t but if it were – I think I will be ok.

Some what caught up, New Car, and RB's B-day

Well, I haven’t really been keeping up on this Blog lately. So I will have to get back in the habit again. I’m behind mostly because of all the changes happening lately. My roommate moved out of the house and two new people moved in. I am trying to get a deck built and hopefully will be wrapping up a few projects in the next month or so. The other big reason I don’t feel I have time to write is simply my schedule as of late. My project at work has gone from 3-4-5 (were I fly home Thursday) to 4-4-5 (were I fly home Friday). This gives me one less day a week to get things done with more things to do. Also add helping my parents move and I feel there really isn’t time for much else.

Not that I’m complaining I like to be busy. Just don’t feel I have time to get anything completed. That’s ok at least I don’t get board either! One of the other things I did recently was to take RB out for her birthday. We decided at the last moment to invite other people so we happy that four other people could come with us. We went to Bennihana’s – one of her absolute favorites – and then to Major’s sport bar over off of 394. It was a lot of fun. I had fun keeping her guessing about what her present was and she was totally surprised. I had gotten her a pair of rollerblades. She has never done it before and had mentioned months ago that she would like to, so she had no clue it was coming. Which was great. We we’re out pretty late though and stuff to do the next day so as usual I ended up getting less sleep than I would have liked! It was easy years ago when I would just not get out of bed until noon on Saturday. Haha.

The next day we went to look at a couple of cars. RB decided that she wants a Ford Escape. I think this is my fault because I talked them up a lot a year or so ago. But it’s all good because they are really pretty good cars. Actually the first one we looked at was a Mazda Tribute. It was in really bad shape though. It had scrapes along the side, a dent in the hood, and other major body issues. Beyond that it ran horribly. Some sort of problem with the fuel system I think. I was dumb founded because it was at a dealer. You would have thought they would have tried to get it into showable shape before trying to sell it. I guess not. It was also amazing because the car only had 39k miles on it and was only 3 years old. It ran and looked like it was 10 years old. In fact my mother’s old sable with 140k runs better. So that is defiantly a no go.

The next car we looked at was at Apple Valley Ford. Not the cheapest dealer to go to, but all in all – they have great service and reasonable prices. Sometimes it pays to pay a little more. Just not too much. The Escapes they had were impeccable. Both were 2005s so it make sense. They were about 6k cheaper than buying new, Limiteds, and had all the options, leather and so on. They ran like they came right out of the factory. Now granted they cost 5k more than the Mazda but some times it’s better to pay it up front then later. It will be a few months before she buys anything however. She wants to pay off her credit card and other debt first. I think that is a good thing. I just 2 months ago paid off my Truck and I still have yet to make a dent in my credit card.

After testing driving some cars, and I think reinforcing her choice to an Escape, we went to my folks house for a b-day party. My sister’s b-day is 1 week before Ruzana so this year they had to share one party. It was nice. I ended up moving stuff to good will for my dad and helping with some other moving items. Then we had a nice dinner, cake and ice cream, and that was it. Got home and rented a flick. Because I owed her for Talladega Nights and it was her b-day we got a chick flick. As usual I guessed 95% of the plot in 10 minutes. But what the heck. Sunday I got to watch a little football, worked in the basement, and got ready to fly out again. But at least the major work on the house is done for the year. So I am kinda caught up for now.

Broken!

If for some reason you hadn’t notice. My website isn’t quite all it used to be anymore. Unfortunately it is broken. You may ask, “but I’m on the site now how can it be down?”. Well that is true. But I can not upload new photo galleries and for a while the blog was down too. Then recently my whole site was down for the weekend. I know there are maybe 40 people who even know about the site, and maybe 4 that actually visit it even on a semi regular basis, but still I would like to keep it up and current. So I have cobbled it back together – barely – so at least the blog works again, the site is accessible again, and the old galleries are available.

The problem is I don’t know what the problem is. I think that it is one of two things. Either a Microsoft update made the freeware I am using out of date or the software can’t handle the size of the database of photos. There are more than 4000 decent sized photo’s already available. I thought about just installing a second gallery but I keep run into conflicts with the software. So that is probably out until I want to rebuild the whole server. This is going to happen but probably not until mid spring. I have one more Idea to try and get around the software problem but it will be weeks before I have time to try. So for now I guess I will just keep adding to the blog and looking for other solutions for the gallery.

I think about the time I rebuild the server I should also redesign the site a little. I am going to drop everything I think except the Galleries and Blog. At one time I thought it would be fun to add a message board. But let’s face it who would use it! So I will have to keep on the look out for clean and simple designs that I like. I haven’t updated the look for 3 years so there we go! Maybe by summer I can start adding more content too. We shall see.

New Furniture

When you grow up I guess you have to buy real furniture. I think that people have different ideas of what is nice or what is needed but I think at some point everyone has to suck it up and by some new decent furniture. Or in my case let someone else do it! Haha. But that is ok. Just recently I was shoved, pulled, dragged, however you want to say it a little further into the adult world. I mean I already have a pretty grown up job or career even and I’ve owned a house for more then ½ a decade, but that doesn’t mean I have to grow up. Though I guess I do have to concede that it is very nice to have new furniture, as opposed to hand me downs, garage sale, or goodwill gear.

I did try to argue with RB that it would be a lot cheaper to go to good will and spend a 100 bucks at goodwill and 30 bucks at target for sheets to furnish the whole house! It wouldn’t even be hard to match all the colors as we would be throwing sheets over everything. But then idea – for reasons, I think, beyond me – never gained much traction. Most of my buddies agreed with me but I never did find anyone else that did. So I relented; though it helped, that I wasn’t actually going to be paying for the furniture myself. I did get to help pick it out, which is nice. And now that it is in the house, well I’m glad that we went the way we did.

We ended up with a new sectional, a chair, and a complete dining set. I would not have thought that I would get a sectional but we found one that had a very unique look, fit the house perfectly, and actually had a very good price tag. We found it at Wicke’s furniture while looking at some other couches we saw in the ads. RB was actually tired and just wanted to flop down for a minute and headed in that direction. We both saw it we though hey! That’s pretty different and I like it. It has dark brown vinyl paneling on the sides, back, and below the cushions and everything else is a tan micro fiber that is textured to look like leather but feels like suede. It’s also so comfortable you end up falling asleep on it without even trying. It has a matching chair that is really nice as well that is both a rocker and swivels. It is round in shape and made from the same materials as the couch. We did skip out on the ataman though.

The Dining room is even more impressive. We had originally looked at Thomasville Furniture’s Bogard collection; after looking at the price tag several times could not even begin to justify it. In fact the entire dining room we ended up with was the cost of the Thomasville table sans chair or other amenities. The collection we did get was also at Wicke’s, which was nice as we saved on delivery charges, called the Scarsdale collection. It has a very similar look at the Bogart collection with a few changes. The table is not as glossy as the Bogart but it has really nice metal accents on the feet, edges, and lower section that are not in the other table. The chairs are also simple and I think look nicer than the Thomasville. The buffet/hutch is the most similar piece with even hardware that is a close match. Everyone who has been over loves it.

The only crazy part of the whole deal is that we bought so much furniture. The hutch is nice but takes up a lot of the room and since we also purchased the service and leave the leaf in the table it is a lot. Still I think it works. We just need to finish decorating the room and it won’t be so lop sided. Man though, I worry about everything now though. I don’t wan the table to get scratched or the couch to get spilled on. It’s crazy it was almost nicer to just have the old stuff! If something happened to it you just went ahead and threw a new sheet over it!

Getting Behind

Apparently while this blog has few - probably more like a couple - readers they do tend to get grumpy when it takes a couple of weeks to actually post articles. I normally am a little behind in my writing I will try to get back on top of it. Of course that is not the only thing I am getting behind on. Because of some work that I need to complete on my house I have done very little but work and then work on the house. I spend 10+ hours a week traveling, 45 hours working for the client, 5 or so hours working for the company on administrative stuff, and then spend 15 or more hours a week (at least for the last couple of months) working on one of the bed rooms. Seems like I am always under a time constraint and basically other things are getting behind.

Though if all goes well the room will be in good enough shape this weekend for someone to move in, and with in 2 weeks hopefully all the work will be completed on it. Then I can get around to the hundred other things I need to get around to. One thing that is a high priority is getting my gallery up and running for new photos again. I think it has been at least 3 if not 4 months since I was able to use the bulk update feature. But now I am 4 or 5 galleries behind. But I will get to it. I certainly need to spend some down time and quality time engaged in other activities. So maybe once this big project is done I can spend more time updating this blog, get a few of the little items done, and possibly start on a more relaxed project on the house.

ACE – Rafting in West Virginia

“Stay to the right and you’ll be fiiiinnnnneeeee…….” says the raft guide to Akhil, Mike, and Matt. A river guide for more than twenty years he wears at least a week and half’s growth of whiskers as comfortably as he does the old t-shirt, ripped shorts, and beat up sandals that he has used to float down the ‘New’ river at least a couple of dozen times. This river is dangerous not because of the amount or speed of the water but because of the softness of rock. As the current has raced by over the last couple of hundred years it has created small cutouts in the rocks below the river. These are big enough however, to pin a full grown man and drown him. So when the Big John – that is our guide’s name – says to stay to right we do!..

The Gnu River in West Virginia is claimed to be one of the oldest on the continent and ACE Adventures has been guiding trips down the river for decades. Ace is a an outdoor destination high in the mountains that has offerings ranging from rock climbing to river rafting, and provides camp grounds or fully appointed cabins for guests. Their compound serves as a base for all of the tours they give but also has a decent sized man mad lake filled with toys such as a 3 story water slide, zip lines, water trampolines, paddle boats, kayaks, and a large blob used to launch people in the air.

Several months ago while looking at a very cold and ugly site from out of the windows at my clients sit in Dayton Ohio Mike, Akhil, and myself hatched a plan to get a little R&R. The original plan was South America. Well that was a bit too ambitious. Next it became Florida. Then possibly Vegas, and finally Mike came up with the crazy idea to go river rafting. What a great idea. It was settled. In all honesty he did most of the work and research; including making the reservations and pushing us to decide a date. And I’m glad he did. It was an unbelievable trip.

Some how I lucked out and Avis gave me a free upgrade the week we were going camping. They gave me a brand new Dodge Durango! It was perfect a good sized SUV to take into the mountains. It’s a good thing they did to because we had way to much crap to fit into a normal sedan. The back seat would have been full and Akhil would have to ride on the roof (only because he smokes other wise we could have taken turns). Luckily this wasn’t necessary we got a big truck. So we packed it up Thursday afternoon and hit the road.

The road trip up was fun, though in all honesty the two hours on two lane highways was a pain. We did stop a couple of times and we were hooting and hollering so loud we didn’t even notice the radio only played static for hours! So after getting lost in Beckley West Virginia for 40 minutes or so we found the hotel and got about 5 hours of sleep.

The next day we had rock climbing at 8am and needed to be on site by 7am so we needed to leave about 6:30 in the morning. Believe it or not Akhil was up. Normally we’re lucky to see him at 8am but some how he managed. We all had the gear on that was recommend to go caving. After getting to ACE and having break fast we found the meeting point, got our gear, signed our waivers, and loaded up the van. Some how Akhil slept from the hotel to ACE, then from ACE to the cave, and again from the Cave to ACE! I can normally sleep in strange circumstances but this guy has it on me!

The cave was a lot of fun. A river ran through it so it was incredibly humid. On top of that it was in the 90s and even though the cave was under ground it was hot and sticky. So for several hours we followed our guide and squeezed through tight spots, crawled across ledges, and were blinded several times by one of our counter parts! Man some guys just can’t listen to instructions. I had brought a polar fleece and by the time I left I wish I hadn’t it was hot. I must have sweated a gallon or more running around in that cave. It was cool though, not so for the amazing formation underground (there weren’t that many), or the crazy graffiti on the walls(not everywhere but in a few places, but for the various obstacles and ever changing rooms. By the time we left the cave we were quite tired and glad to be back at the top of the hill and out from under ground.

The rest of the day we didn’t do much except swim, eat, and drink. We did try to launch each other off of the blob in the ACE lake but never had a lot of success. It took us a long time to figure out how to even climb on the thing. I have to admit it is embarrassing when you are struggling to climb this inflatable amusement object and 5, 6 , and 7 years olds are climbing up with no problem! More embarrassing even because it took us that long to figure out there was a rope step to help you! Once we found this getting up wasn’t much of a problem. The next big challenge was the blob it self. If you jumped on it feet first you slid off (again we were shown up by little kids). Then when Mike tried to launch Akhil, Akhil went straight up and land back on the blob launching Michael off! Unbelievable we had so much trouble – and as much fun – with a big kids toy.

After swimming for a while we went back to camp and changed, then headed to dinner and spent the rest of the night at the bar. Why not? We were just going to go white water rafting the next day. That night we didn’t get a lot of sleep. Part of it was from being at the bar to bar close, part of it was that the tent was way to small for 3 guys –props to Mikey for sleeping in the truck-, and part of it was because the neighbors were so noisy. They didn’t even quite down when Akhil threatened to come over and show ‘em a thing or two! Even though I don’t think he was getting up for anything. The biggest result of that’s escapes though was being slightly hung over at 7am the next day when we went rafting.

Rafting – The whole point of the Trip. After getting up early, getting some grub, loading our gear, and riding on a bus to the launch point we were introduced to our guide. Big John. Big John was probably 6’ 2” and had some heft to him, not fat mostly muscle from guiding a raft through rapids all summer. Big John looked, smiled, and had an accent a little like Matthew McConaughey. Of course Big John talked more like a sailor, told dirty jokes, and had been banned from guiding church and school groups down the river! Big John was also a veteran rafter of more than a decade, maybe even two, and new the river very, very well. He also liked to have fun at other people’s expense. Big John had also gained control of a special boat. It was shorter and skinnier than the normal 6 person boat, but longer and fatter than the 4. I also had relatively small tubes for more performance in the rapids, though this also made it much less stable. Really he was the perfect guide with the perfect boat for us!

Now Akhil had also doomed us to some degree. During our caving experience he didn’t always listen so well – something he did during rafting a lot too – and blinded the guide several times. She actually had already talked to Big John about us. If that wasn’t enough when we were asked what kind of a ride we would like he told Big John that he “wanted to go swimming”, even if he was scared of snakes swimming around in the water – what a Pony. So our trip was going to be eventful. The first thing we did was sacrifice ourselves to the river gods. There was a large rock formation just a few feet down river from the launch so Big John pulled the raft up to it and said it was better to go in voluntarily. So we did. It didn’t help; we still didn’t stay in the boat the whole trip.

Rivers always have fun names for the rapids. The ones on this river are called things like nose bleed, cartwheel, Surprise, Big Baloney, Pin Ball, Lost Lunch, Piece of Cake, Hip Kick, Double Z, and so on (See Map Below). Most of the rapids were 3s, 4s, and 5s, not because they had a lot of water but more because they were dangerous due to the cutouts mentioned above. Rapids are graded either on the amount of water or the danger they present. Most of the rapids on this river were pretty dangerous because of the nature of the rock formations. No one on the trip was hurt however. Just a little shaken up. We were tossed from the boat two or three times. The first time was our guide warming us up for the river and intentionally turning the boat into an ejector seat. So we were the only raft to loose people at that particular rapid. I only fell out one more time but the other guys I think fell out 2 more times each… Though one time might have been voluntary for Michael.

The second time I fell out was the first time we tried to surf. Surfing is a ton of fun. What happens is you try to enter the rapid from behind or the side facing the oncoming water. If all works correctly the raft slides into the hole created by the water rushing over the rock and surfs over the water as it goes through that whole. You basically stay in the rapid until you want to leave, someone kicks you out going through in another raft, or the guide gets tired of keeping the raft in place. The first time we tried this maneuver I look over and watched Michael and Akhil slide out of the raft. It seemed to happen in slow motion. Then I looked over and the guide had been tossed out as well! So I stopped trying to stay in the raft and was tossed. I held onto the paddle so hard through the rapid that it bent, it was also a wild enough ride that the supports in my helmet broke! Most of the people in the other boats were amazed at the end of the trip that we had a wild enough ride to break a helmet and paddle.

We did finally successfully surf later on the trip. In fact at first we were the only raft to get into the hole successfully. Then we were in there for as long as 15 minutes at a time. We spent as much time surfing as all the other boats combined. We certainly lucked out with our guide. He let air out of the raft in just the right way, moved weight around, and had us all move back in the raft – it also probably helped that we were in the special raft. We did have to save a few people that fell out of their boats a few times. It was a ton of fun. We even did some stunts with the raft where we walked it across the face of the rock.

The one other event of the trip was our guide being himself again. Toward the end of the trip he set up bid time. We started heading toward what he said were very dangerous rapids. While we floated toward them he told us some stupid story and kept point toward shore off to the right of the boat. He pretended to not notice how close we were getting to the rapid. Then he got really excited and said to paddle one way, then another, then another, and we missed the route we were supposed to use. Also I need to mention that earlier when he was telling us commands – yes it seems he had been setting us up for a while – he said that if he ever yelled oh Sh(ir)t to hold on as tight as possible we were in for a ride. So as we went through the rapid he yelled “oh sh(ir)t!” and jumped into the middle of the boat. That certain freaked all of us out and he just started busting out laphing. He had really played us well even his nephew (the 4^th rider in the boat) didn’t know he was full of it!

That pretty much covers our fantastic ride down the river. We then drank beers and road the bus back to camp, went out for the best BBQ around, picked up some liquor, and relaxed the rest of the night. The next day we slept in, then drove to see a really big bridge, had a 3 hour breakfast (due to the slowest service ever!), and drove back to Dayton. It was easily on of the best trips I have ever been on and we plan some sort of repeat performances again. Hopefully Soon.

Rolling off… What a difference

Well every project is different that is for sure. After 10 months on the same project you certain get used to things. The interesting part about being a consultant is that you get a new job on a pretty regular basis. At first I didn’t want to roll off. I had carved out a good role for myself, the client didn’t want me to go (even if they weren’t will to pay so I could stay), and I had a routine down. But now that I have moved on it I do have to say that location can make a huge difference, clients are really different, and while the work is similar each role is quite a bit different.

Starting a new project for me is pretty much like starting a new job, or new semester in college, or moving to a new neighborhood. While it is exciting and I enjoy doing it I get stressed out for a little while. Most of this revolves around getting my mind wrapped around a new role and defining the tasks that I am supposed to accomplish and learning my surroundings. Unlike most occupations as a consultant part of the reason you are brought in is because the client needs help figure out how to do something. So while there isn’t a lot of heads down work to do there is a lot of mental preparation to be done. The days are long and you need to make an impact immediately. You have no idea what you are supposed to be doing, you are supposed to tell the client how you are going to do what you don’t know you are doing, and you have to have tools and documents setup with in the first week to help do what you don’t know you are doing. So I get a little stressed. After two weeks though I am normally pretty happy and back into my comfort zone.

The next fun part of rolling off one project and onto another is simply finding your way around. Normally we try to stay in hotels just a few miles from the client, but now you have to find your way through an airport, to the client, to the hotel, and find some food. Later on so you can have kind of a normal life you want to find some entertainment as well. I also tend to get lost the first few times around an area. But this is also the best part of going to a new area; new sites, new places, new attractions, new bars, new restaurants, new clubs, new museums, new sports arenas, and so on. I love to travel (thx for the gypsy blood dad!) and explore so this is one of the biggest perks of the job. I especially like being in a new downtown where I can walk around for a few miles a day in different directions. In fact this is my first week on the project and I have maybe five places already I want to check out, and that list will continue to grow!

Now so far it has been a major difference between these two projects. Starting with flying to the client where I now take one flight instead of two and I get to leave an hour or so later in the morning. This mean more sleep! Next after close to a hundred flights I got upgraded on both my flights this week. So I got that going for me which is nice! Next at the airport it is a shorter walk to the rental car (which I don’t have to share anymore) and an easier drive to the client; that is much shorter than the drive in Dayton 10 min vs.25 min. So these things are nice. The hotel is nicer, a full service Hilton in Downtown Milwaukee vs. a Courtyard in a suburb of a suburb(Dayton). And finally last but not least the client is cooler. Not just what they sell but the way they run their business. I didn’t have to wait 2 weeks to get my computer access (1/2 day), they want to be involved in everything, and everyone really cares about the company. The corporate site is absolutely amazing – this may all be do to the fact that my current client is the manufacture of an American Icon. To top it all off the client actually knows what they are doing.

I think once I get comfortable and my role is more defined this is going to be a great project. Though, I will miss the project team from BPE (my last project). In fact because the team is so bid there are actually less activities going on after hours, most people have settled into a routine and that is too bad. But I think I can light a fire under everyone, maybe I just need to start an entertainment committee. I think after the next couple of weeks this will become a great opportunity even if I get a little stressed from time to time.