I was thinking the other day how nice it would be if Karma worked like the points you earn on your credit card or like the miles you earn with the airlines. This would be nice because it would give you control over your luck. Now I don’t really need this in day to day life, but when it comes to flying it would certainly be a nice change; giving you the option to change you luck and get along a little smoother when ever you wanted to.

Why was I thinking this – because I have no clue how the seating gods make their decisions. Who are the seating gods? These are the super natural forces that dictate who gets a row to themselves who sits between the fat couple from Tennessee. Who gets upgraded to first class, who gets the exit row, and who has to check their bag at the door because all the over heads are full. Who gets the special seat with extra leg room and who sits next to the guy that doesn’t bath. I believe the seating gods must be similar to the three fates that the ancient Greeks believed in. They sit there watching everyone’s life and make decisions about their luck and what will happen to them.

I started thinking about this on my flight to Las Vegas (details on that to follow in another blog). For some lucky reason I was put into a seat that had no one the seat next to it and had extra leg room. I don’t know why this happens from time to time. Another woman on the flight asked me to switch with her so her husband could sit in the unoccupied seat and they would be together. Well I said yes. Why? Yeah surprised me too. I said yes first because I thought it was the nice thing to do and second because I didn’t know only my row had the extra leg room. I found out to my surprise that the seat I switched to had much less leg room. Arghh.

This lead to my thinking of Karma: I must have done something nice to have deserved the extra special seat on that flight – don’t know what but something. I also wondered if that Karma could be banked. How would this work? Well because I gave up the seat for purely altruistic purposes I should have gotten the Karma Points back for the seat plus some for being extra nice. These points should then sit in an account and build up every time I did something good, nice, or thoughtful. Of course their would be similar deductions for the opposite negative actions.

Once you had a certain amount of Points you could trade them in to the seating gods for better treatment. Maybe an upgrade, maybe more foot room, maybe a better snack. It would all depend on the number of points you where spending. It would be like using miles but it would affect more things. For instance you could keep smelly people away, get more leg room, or maybe get the whole row to yourself. This is kind of how karma works (see My Name is Earl on NBC) except that it would be more codified. Maybe there could even be a website to track your karma on. That would be nice. Yes that would be nice.

Team Lead

After a whopping 6 months with the company and 3 months of project experience I have been made a team lead on my current project. I don’t know what took them so long! I am no in charge of 3 client resources who are defining the requirements for the companies reporting requirements. Later we will be developing these reports in BW (that’s short for Business information Warehouse) SAP’s solution for business intelligence. Yeah I know that phrase – business intelligence – sounds like an oxymoron to me as well.

There are two aspects of being a team lead that make this new role interesting. The first is the fact that I have never seen, used, or studied BW. I am as new to the product as the three resources from the client team that I am to lead through the process. In fact the consultant I am working with has just as little experience as I do! We are going to training for the product in a couple of weeks. The only people who seem to know anything about this product on our team are the off-shore resources in India. Unfortunately their role is only technical; they have no experience on the business side of the equation. This means that I am will have a very steep learning curve.

The second interesting point to be made here is that the client believes that I have done this before. They are very obviously looking to me for guidance through the process – they may be doing this because the partner and manager on the project may have indicated a little more experience. This actually amuses me because the VP in charge of this client wasn’t sure to let me on the project originally in October because of my lack of project experience. Then they got upset when I was no longer free and they had to pay to keep me around! One thing that will certainly keep you on your toes in consulting is the great swing of expectations that occurs as you prove yourself.

Those items being said I am enjoying this new role. I have a lot more work to do, but I have a lot more control since I am directing the effort. Also my client team seams eager to get involved in the project and quite capable (we will find out how true this is Tuesday when I find out if they will make their first deadline). They are very knowledgeable in the business areas they come from and have been working for this client anywhere from 4 - 15 years. I also like the fact that they ask a lot of question to find out exactly what is required from them. I have worked with others on this project that only give you exactly what you ask for. This obviously slows down the project and is also a passive aggressive attitude that impedes everyone’s work. This team shows the opposite attitude.

I do have one large concern going forward. After being given this role I was asked to contact another DC resource out of Philly and request some information. When I did this he answered back with an e-mail requesting a phone call. During are call he quizzed me about the project my experience, the team’s experience and so on. At the end of the call he informed me that he was very concerned that there are no experienced resources on this project. It is his belief that we are going to run into a lot of problems because of the lack of experience. Hopefully this is not the case. I am optimistic and believe we will knock this one out of the park.

What do first year Analysts do to break up the Monotony?

So while I was working on a couple of presentations, answering questions about resourcing, and trying to consolidate several cross reference tables (yes this is typically what I do all day) I had this conversation with the other analyst on my project. What was he doing? Creating a web portal for the clients eStore.

[15:15] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): http://www.theinquirer.net/?article=28733
[15:39] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): this article better bet sap related
[15:40] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): $10 per email... what a joke
[15:59] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): yeah well if it actually gets people to stop spamming... I'm happy.
[15:59] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): You know like 80% of spam originates in the US
[16:00] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): did you know there are 206 bones in the human body?
[16:02] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): An adult human cadaver head cut off around vertebra C3, with no hair, weighs somewhere between 4.5 and 5 kg, constituting around 8% of the whole body mass.
[16:05] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): Michael Keaton's real name is actually Michael Douglas
[16:07] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): What is Michael Douglas' real name?
[16:07] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): Michael Douglas
[16:08] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): Astronauts can't burp in space
[16:08] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): hmmm... So there are two of them.... OR ARE THERE?
[16:08] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): The Germans purchase a lawn gnome on E-bay every 8 minutes on average
[16:09] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
[16:11] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): the sun is 23 126 400 000 inches across
[16:12] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): In Florida, Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
[16:18] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): The red baron was Manfred von Richthofen not the guy from the pizza box
[16:19] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): We have to start finding some new places these guys are bitching about our committee!
[16:23] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.
[16:26] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): Approximately $25 million is spent each year on lap dances in Las Vegas.
[16:28] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Darrin should be reminded of the EC wins. Such great accomplishments as:
[16:28] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Akhil's B-day Celebration
[16:29] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): That Mexican Place
[16:29] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Quaker Steak and Lube
[16:29] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): uh
[16:29] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): I suppose that’s it
[16:29] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): agreed... those were 3 home runs
[16:29] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): BDay was a grand slam
[16:30] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis):
Ventura County, California- Cats or dogs can't have sex without a permit.
[16:30] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): we found the strip clubs... but that’s like the underground EC
[16:30] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): yep
[16:30] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Chicago, Illinois- A hat pin is
onsidered a concealed weapon.
[16:31] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): There are as many chickens on this planet as humans.
[16:33] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): Each 5 m.p.h. you drive over 60 m.p.h. is like paying an additional $.10 a gallon for gas
[16:33] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): that is BS!
[16:34] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): A sneeze leaves your mouth a 100 miles per hour.
[16:34] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot off a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
[16:34] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Toronto, Canada- It is illegal to ride a streetcar on Sunday after eating garlic.
[16:37] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): Nearly 30% of female lottery winners hide their winning ticket in their bras.
[16:38] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Kentucky- It is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket.
[16:38] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): This conversation may be blogged!
[16:39] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): 99% of people cannot lick their elbow.
[16:39] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): damn i have been slacking on my reading of your site again
[16:40] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): Mailing an entire building has been illegal in the U.S. since 1916 when a man mailed a 40,000-ton brick house across Utah to avoid high freight rates.
[16:40] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Louisana- It is illegal to rob a bank, and then shoot the teller with a water pistol.
[16:41] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Idaho- It is forbidden by law for one citizen to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds.
[16:43] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): On Sunday, it is illegal to sell cornflakes in Columbus, Ohio
[16:43] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Somalia, Africa- It is illegal to carry old gum on the tip of you nose.
[16:44] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): Billy goats urinate on their own heads to smell more attractive to females
[16:44] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): In ancient China, people committed suicide by eating a pound of salt
[16:46] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Miami, Florida- It is illegal for a man to wear a strapless gown
[16:47] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Connecticut- It is illegal to walk across the street on your hands.
[16:47] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): More than 6,000 people with pillow-related injuries check into U.S. emergency rooms every year
[16:49] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): Unless you have a doctor's note, its illegal to buy ice cream after 6 p.m. in Newark, New Jersey.
[16:49] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): The first black surgeon to do open heart surgery was Dr. Daniel Hale Williams. In 1893
[16:49] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Thomas Crapper developed the flush toilet. In 1884, he simulated the materials a toilet would normally handle, to create "a super-flush which had completely cleared away: 10 apples, 1 flat sponge, 3 air vessels, Plumbers Smudge coated over the pan, 4 pieces of paper adhering closely to the soiled surface." A fantastic feat of flushing!
[16:49] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): In 1987 American Airlines saved $40,000 by eliminating one olive from its First Class salads.
[16:51] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): 160 cars can drive side by side on the Monumental Axis in Brazil, the world's widest road.
[16:51] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): Brazil was named after brazil nuts
[16:54] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): A LUMP OF PURE GOLD THE SIZE OF A MATCHBOOK CAN BE FLATTENED INTO A SHEET THE SIZE OF A TENNIS COURT
[16:55] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): AN OSTRICHES EYE IS BIGGER THAN ITS BRAIN
[16:55] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): DONALD DUCKS MIDDLE NAME IS FAUNTLEROY
[16:56] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): we will call this a darrin break
[16:57] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): yes
[17:01] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): if i ask darrin about goals do you want to hear what he has to say since its your first time too?
[17:03] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Sure why not.
[17:09] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): The octopus' testicles are located in its head
[17:12] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): A PREGNANT GOLDFISH IS CALLED A "TWIT"
[17:13] Smith, Michael S (US - Pittsburgh): i closed my random fact page...
[17:14] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): oh ok.
[17:14] GLAESER, MATHEW (US - Minneapolis): Later...